Sitting at my desk one day some years ago, my sweet sister sent me The List. The List might have been handed down for generations….or she could have painstakingly thought of it herself. She is pretty smart.

The List offered a bevy of time-honored tips and tricks for the new bride in preparation for her wedding day. I tried to faithfully adhere to the wisdom contained within:

1. No chocolate

(Of course, this was and is pretty hard for any woman to follow but the list required it! And at number 1! Must be necessary.)

2. No caffeine.

(Now this, this wasn't that hard. Not then. Now? Oh yeah. Coffee, cream and sugar. Yummmmmmmm. I digress.)

3. No greasy, fried foods.

(Hmmmmmmm…does Taco Bell count? Don't they have something on the menu with lettuce? What about the salads at Sonic? Can I eat those?)

4. Nothing that tastes good.

(This just can't be. Maybe we should scratch this off The List).

5. Drink lots of water.

(Done. I like water. Water is my friend).

6. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.

(Well, I like tomatoes??)

7. Get lots of sleep.

(I could fall asleep right now.)

8. Don't bite or pick on nails.

(Well, you see, I do pick at my thumb. Jessica [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][aforementioned sweet sister] does it too. It's hereditary.)

9. Lots of lotion.

(Scritch, scratch, scritch, scratch.)

10. Lots of kissing (keeps your complexion rosy).

I like this one the best.